Friday, May 9, 2008

Madly

Welcome to my first blog entry! I have so much housework to do seeing as how we have people coming to view the house in the afternoon, but I just feel really compelled to sit down and start a blog. I have been thinking about it for about 2 weeks since I read Angie and Audrey's journey in their blog that really moved me in a way that I can't begin to describe (I strongly recommend looking at it and reading a few posts at the very least if you haven't already---it's one heck of a story--->Angie and Audrey's Story

So, since then I have been on this 'journey' with the Lord I feel. Today I had a really wierd moment. I was just really struck by the lyrics to a song while I was driving down the road towards the barn. Tiffany downloaded a bunch of praise and worship songs for me a couple of months ago to help me get through a rough part, and I know I heard this song on the CD before today, but the song just sent me into the ugly cry, complete with sobs and tears. I am sure I attracted alot of funny looks passing folks, but I just couldn't help it. It felt good. It is called 'Madly in Love with You' by Sean McConnell.

The song caught me so off guard because it is from God's perspective looking down on us. It made me feel a little foolish and ashamed at how often He tries to speak to us, but we just choose to ignore or come back 'later' to the little voice in the back of our head.

Then I heard these words:

"How do you think it feels to hear you screaming out my name
While all the while I'm trying to open up your heart
I see you when you're cry yourself to sleep
It's tearing me apart"

That really opened the flood gates and I began to think about all the times i've cried for help so to speak and the whole time He was just right there. I just had to open up my heart.

I know I am not perfect, I know I have my faults, but I know better to bring my thoughts and concerns, praises etc. to Jesus. Sometimes I forget. Not proud to admit that. But lately I feel like HE has been screaming my name to listen to Him. I am more aware of all the things that i'm thankful for, trying to be a person that people want to approach to ask me about my new found refreshed faith (that part is hard, I wouldn't know what to say if they asked, that wouldn't turn them off and make them think i'm crazy), I have found it fun to listen to the Christian music station up here to see what I can learn in each new song, listening for what can inspire me next, and try to let God present himself to me in a new way. I guess what i'm saying is that i've been a believer for a long time, never stopped believing, never stopped trusting God, but I just feel refreshed! Refreshed by a little drink I like to call Jesus. It feels good :) HA!

Here are the lyrics of the song "Madly in love with you":

I see you down there everyday
Trying to find a different way
To build some kind of latter to the sky
Trying to find someway to see
The secrets of eternity
And they don't come all at once
And you don't know why

How do you think it feels to hear you screaming out my name
While all the while I'm trying to open up your heart
I see you when you're cry yourself to sleep
It's tearing me apart

I know you wish you could see me
But that's the way it has to be
Someday you will understand
But don't you lose your faith in me
I know you wish you could hear me
Sometimes it's so hard to do
But every morning sunrise says
I'm madly in love with you
Yes, I'm madly in love with you
Yes, I'm madly in love with you
Yes, I'm madly in love with you

I know that you're waiting for
A chance to come in from the war
If only a moment, If only a day
A place where you feel safe and warm
A sanctuary from the storm
Until all of these questions fade away

But I cannot count all of the signs that you've passed away as mere coincidence
And I'm running out of ways to break through
But like a lonely lover waiting by the ocean
I'll never give up on you

I know you wish you could see
But that's the way it has to be
Someday you will understand
But don't you lose your faith in me
I know you wish you could hear me
Sometimes it's so hard to do
But every morning sunrise says
I'm madly in love with you
Yes, I'm madly in love with you
Yes, I'm madly in love with you
Yes, I'm madly in love with you


To know that he'll never give up on me I can't even begin to describe that feeling. Despite all of my failures, he will always love me. Period.


So I ask for your help to help me embrace this newness, and pray that I find a church up here that suits us, (churches are slim pickin's up here, especially a babtist one) and to learn how to carry myself in this journey in case God chooses to use me as a example.

I will be updating this blog now that I have it started with random events, funny stories, my journey with Christ, and every other little odd thing. Its easier and fun to update this way, rather than have to tell the same stories 38 times.

And of course, how can I forget to share the link to the song that made my day:

Click on 'Madly in Love with you' on the right side of the screen, it is the 5th song down on the music player, just click on the title of the song. It should start playing. Enjoy and God Bless!

Sean McConnell, Madly in love with you:

Time to clean!

Love,

Lindsay


PS. Please leave a comment for me, I feel a little 'naked' exposing myself with all my feelings and not getting any input from you guys.





1 comment:

~ mb said...

Linz, The first thing that struck me when I read your blog, is how eloquently you write! Your words are very fluid and warm. Your quest to ‘stretch’ has opened up a new avenue of awareness. Thank you…for sharing a day in your journey, for pointing out and reminding your readers that it IS about opening your heart… ‘cause when we do, we actually reach out and touch someone back. God is Love and Ain’t Love Grand!